It Begins

My real name is not Sanjay Taquito.  To tell you my real name would break the first rule of being a super hero.  But, if you're reading this you already knew that and wouldn't have asked my real name anyway.  I guess I'm hoping other people - people who aren't so smart - will also read this.

In my "normal" life, I'm a family man.  I work in an office.  I have shoes, socks, shirts, pants, ties and all the other accoutrements of the typical guy in the office.  I don't have a coat.  I live in Florida and it seems silly to have a coat.  On the rare cold day, I just layer an old sweater under a jacket and that seems to work out.  Otherwise, I'm pretty typical.  I have an umbrella too.  That's handy.

I have five children.  The oldest is nearly in high school.  That's why I'm doing what I'm doing.

Have you seen the world?  Evil is all around us.  I have to protect them, but I just don't think it's practical to go on dates with my daughter or accompany her to parties when she gets into high school.  I know she wants her independence and being too much of an overshadowing parent would only drive her further away from me.  So, I've had to think of a way to silently watch over my children out of sight.  Dad can't be everywhere at all times, but maybe Sanjay Taquito can.

Why Sanjay Taquito?  The Sanjay part is a shout out to Sanjaya Malakar, who is without a doubt the most talented singer to have graced the stage on American Idol.  He is one of my heroes and I hope to someday be as courageous as he is.  The taquito part is a little more willy-nilly.  I really like that episode of South Park where the boys meet an alien who transforms himself into the form of a taco that craps ice cream.  It got me thinking that there aren't really any superheros that have a food theme.  Not wanting to steal the taco idea, I went with "taquito" because it's more of a rolled up taco like thing.  It's tight, compact and full of spicy meat - like something you don't want to mess with.  Anyway, the name just sounds hard core.

I don't have much experience fighting or anything like that, but I've enrolled myself in a karate class at the local community center to learn.  It's an afternoon class twice a week, and I can do it on my lunch break without the family knowing.  I don't want them to have a clue of what I'm doing.  Keeping this venture a secret from the ones I love the most is a difficult burden to bear, but I feel it's something I must do in order to protect them.

My next step is to come up with some kind of costume.  I'm imagining some kind of taquito themed body with the "ponyhawk" hairstyle Sanjaya sported when he sang "Bathwater".  That seems like it would be pretty intimidating!