This is just a quick update on my thoughts from yesterday. I found a great site where you can buy padded armor. I'm not sure if any of their styles will work for me, but it certainly gives me some starting points for making some of my own. Apparently padded armor isn't very durable, but I think it should suit my purposes just fine. It's not like I'm marching into a long war with it or anything.
I also found some rudimentary instructions for using bras as "abs" in a Halloween costume. You've got to love the way the batman suit gave Michael Keaton nice abs, so this might be a good way to give my Taquito suit some added intimidation factor. I'm toying with the idea of lining the bra cups with some kind of lightweight metal to make the "abs" hard.
This is all definitely food for thought, but I've got to scoot to karate class!
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Plus Size Bras
I confess the title of this post may seem confusing coming from a 40 year old guy speaking of his journey to becoming a superhero, but in reading on I think you'll see how everything comes together.
My wife has grown quite plump in recent years. Though I confess I'm not the handsome prince I was on the day she married me, I do believe that her "downward trend" in physical appearance has far outmatched my own decline. Despite this, we still enjoy the occasional "dalliance" in the bedroom. Yesterday, she was browsing an internet site, looking for a plus sized bra as her breasts are quite huge. She wished to involve me in this process. I can only assume that she thinks buying a bra that I like will lead to more frequent "dalliances".
At first, I was annoyed by her insistence that I come look at pictures of over-sized women in over-sized lingerie, but after a few minutes of pretending to be interested, my mind drifted to the idea of using bras in my Sanjay Taquito costume. While a crime fighting taquito certainly would not have breasts, it would have muscles...muscles that I'm not sure I can replicate on my own in the short amount of time I've left to develop my superhero persona. If these bras can hold and firm up 20 pounds of breast tissue, there must certainly be a way to use them to produce the look I want.
My mind ran (and continues to run) wild at the possibilities. What if I hooked two bras together around my upper body, leaving the cups at either side of me. I could fill the cups with some dense padded material that would give my intrepid taquito the appearance of having ripped lats while serving a double purpose of armoring that portion of my body.
I'm going to go to the library today to see if there are any books on medieval padded armor. I feel enlightened!
My wife has grown quite plump in recent years. Though I confess I'm not the handsome prince I was on the day she married me, I do believe that her "downward trend" in physical appearance has far outmatched my own decline. Despite this, we still enjoy the occasional "dalliance" in the bedroom. Yesterday, she was browsing an internet site, looking for a plus sized bra as her breasts are quite huge. She wished to involve me in this process. I can only assume that she thinks buying a bra that I like will lead to more frequent "dalliances".
At first, I was annoyed by her insistence that I come look at pictures of over-sized women in over-sized lingerie, but after a few minutes of pretending to be interested, my mind drifted to the idea of using bras in my Sanjay Taquito costume. While a crime fighting taquito certainly would not have breasts, it would have muscles...muscles that I'm not sure I can replicate on my own in the short amount of time I've left to develop my superhero persona. If these bras can hold and firm up 20 pounds of breast tissue, there must certainly be a way to use them to produce the look I want.
My mind ran (and continues to run) wild at the possibilities. What if I hooked two bras together around my upper body, leaving the cups at either side of me. I could fill the cups with some dense padded material that would give my intrepid taquito the appearance of having ripped lats while serving a double purpose of armoring that portion of my body.
I'm going to go to the library today to see if there are any books on medieval padded armor. I feel enlightened!
Friday, September 24, 2010
It Begins
My real name is not Sanjay Taquito. To tell you my real name would break the first rule of being a super hero. But, if you're reading this you already knew that and wouldn't have asked my real name anyway. I guess I'm hoping other people - people who aren't so smart - will also read this.
In my "normal" life, I'm a family man. I work in an office. I have shoes, socks, shirts, pants, ties and all the other accoutrements of the typical guy in the office. I don't have a coat. I live in Florida and it seems silly to have a coat. On the rare cold day, I just layer an old sweater under a jacket and that seems to work out. Otherwise, I'm pretty typical. I have an umbrella too. That's handy.
I have five children. The oldest is nearly in high school. That's why I'm doing what I'm doing.
Have you seen the world? Evil is all around us. I have to protect them, but I just don't think it's practical to go on dates with my daughter or accompany her to parties when she gets into high school. I know she wants her independence and being too much of an overshadowing parent would only drive her further away from me. So, I've had to think of a way to silently watch over my children out of sight. Dad can't be everywhere at all times, but maybe Sanjay Taquito can.
Why Sanjay Taquito? The Sanjay part is a shout out to Sanjaya Malakar, who is without a doubt the most talented singer to have graced the stage on American Idol. He is one of my heroes and I hope to someday be as courageous as he is. The taquito part is a little more willy-nilly. I really like that episode of South Park where the boys meet an alien who transforms himself into the form of a taco that craps ice cream. It got me thinking that there aren't really any superheros that have a food theme. Not wanting to steal the taco idea, I went with "taquito" because it's more of a rolled up taco like thing. It's tight, compact and full of spicy meat - like something you don't want to mess with. Anyway, the name just sounds hard core.
I don't have much experience fighting or anything like that, but I've enrolled myself in a karate class at the local community center to learn. It's an afternoon class twice a week, and I can do it on my lunch break without the family knowing. I don't want them to have a clue of what I'm doing. Keeping this venture a secret from the ones I love the most is a difficult burden to bear, but I feel it's something I must do in order to protect them.
My next step is to come up with some kind of costume. I'm imagining some kind of taquito themed body with the "ponyhawk" hairstyle Sanjaya sported when he sang "Bathwater". That seems like it would be pretty intimidating!
In my "normal" life, I'm a family man. I work in an office. I have shoes, socks, shirts, pants, ties and all the other accoutrements of the typical guy in the office. I don't have a coat. I live in Florida and it seems silly to have a coat. On the rare cold day, I just layer an old sweater under a jacket and that seems to work out. Otherwise, I'm pretty typical. I have an umbrella too. That's handy.
I have five children. The oldest is nearly in high school. That's why I'm doing what I'm doing.
Have you seen the world? Evil is all around us. I have to protect them, but I just don't think it's practical to go on dates with my daughter or accompany her to parties when she gets into high school. I know she wants her independence and being too much of an overshadowing parent would only drive her further away from me. So, I've had to think of a way to silently watch over my children out of sight. Dad can't be everywhere at all times, but maybe Sanjay Taquito can.
Why Sanjay Taquito? The Sanjay part is a shout out to Sanjaya Malakar, who is without a doubt the most talented singer to have graced the stage on American Idol. He is one of my heroes and I hope to someday be as courageous as he is. The taquito part is a little more willy-nilly. I really like that episode of South Park where the boys meet an alien who transforms himself into the form of a taco that craps ice cream. It got me thinking that there aren't really any superheros that have a food theme. Not wanting to steal the taco idea, I went with "taquito" because it's more of a rolled up taco like thing. It's tight, compact and full of spicy meat - like something you don't want to mess with. Anyway, the name just sounds hard core.
I don't have much experience fighting or anything like that, but I've enrolled myself in a karate class at the local community center to learn. It's an afternoon class twice a week, and I can do it on my lunch break without the family knowing. I don't want them to have a clue of what I'm doing. Keeping this venture a secret from the ones I love the most is a difficult burden to bear, but I feel it's something I must do in order to protect them.
My next step is to come up with some kind of costume. I'm imagining some kind of taquito themed body with the "ponyhawk" hairstyle Sanjaya sported when he sang "Bathwater". That seems like it would be pretty intimidating!
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